Why Adult Therapy for Resolving Issues Stemming from Childhood, Works
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This woman can do all the reprogramming you have suggested and still 'go away' during sex with her husband. If she learned (probably did) how to dissociate when she was molested then that is an automatic no matter whether the intimacy is wanted or not. She will need to have therapy and learn with her husband how to stay present and enjoy their love.
Your suggestions are nice but they just aren't realistic for someone who has been molested. It just isn't that simple. I hope that when she tries this it is successful but I doubt very much that it will be and then more than likely she will beat herself up even more for not 'doing it right.' This has been my experience in working with victims (survivors) of molest.
Someone Who Knows
I agree wholeheartedly! All the re-programming in the world by itself will probably not do the healing of the heart and mind that needs to be done. That is why each of my therapies are not complete without the Lord's help. There is not a counseling problem in the world in which God is not the answer.
I hope you are using Him while working with the victims you see. Even if they only have a hope that there is a God, you can help them develop that relationship. Then you have given them much more than a cure for the sexual assault. You have given them a chance to understand who they are, why they are here, and where they are going. When you open the door to God for them, He comes into their life and prepares them a step at a time to understand these things and prepares them and those who are closely associated with them, to return to Him.
Never underestimate the power of God and His love for His children. He is there, He loves them and will He will help them if asked to do so.