The Tirade

Annette Nay, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2004

Definition:  A protracted, bombastic, ranting speech usually marked by excessive haranguing, verbal abuse, find fault with, and/or criticizing language.

Example:  What some people do when they cannot find their tools.

Why you should not engage in such behavior:

Benefits to the person having the tirade:

Since a tirade only had some benefits for the person giving it and none for the recipients, it is suggested that other means of letting off steam and telling others of the things that make you upset and/or angry:

 

Airing Injustices

 

Letting Off Steam

Lamaze Breathing Techniques

Since I had all natural births, I learned Lamaze Breathing Techniques well as I had to have it for the great event every two years for twelve years.

In-between times, whenever I got a headache, or felt bad I would go into my breathing. If it were just a regular headache (not a migraine) I could eliminate it with the breathing. Now, when I start feeling bad it kicks in automatically. I'll be doing something and I'll find myself huffing and puffing even before I realize I am not doing so well.

I'm sure you have heard people say when you are stressed out to breathe deeply. I'm living proof it works!

Also when I am handled a chunk of information that should knock me for a loop, I take a few minutes and breath deeply. If it is really bad stuff, then sometimes I even open my mouth to get in as much oxygen to the brain as possible. This give me more oxygen to think better and it also give me time back away from the problem so I can ease into it gracefully.

There is almost nothing that can't wait for a few minutes for an answer. I buy myself some time and reduce the stress by just breathing! It works!

Stop Dwelling on the Problem

I refuse to dwell on stuff that makes me sad or bitter. This is not to say that I refuse to deal with it. I get in and do what I must immediately, and then get out. Then I put it out of my mind.

Compartmentalize Your Problems

One of the best ways to rid yourself of thoughts and worries is to compartmentalize them. To do this you see yourself putting a particular problem in a hat-box up in the top or your closet.

Some people see themselves putting their problems in an old fashioned desk with many compartments. Others have a worry bush they use. Once outside the office they dump the office problems on the bush and do not think about those problems again until they pick them up again as they arrive at work. One person reported that their worry bush died! Remember bushes have a spirit too. Don't over burden the poor bush.

Whichever way you choose to compartmentalize your problems, you are symbolically putting the problem away from you so that it does not bother you continuously and waste your energy. It helps to clear your thinking so you can concentrate on your family, other matters, or helps you to enjoy what there is to enjoy of life.

Procrastination is a Killer

Never procrastinate! It is poison to your well-being! Just get it done. Usually people put off something because it is too big or it causes then psychological pain. When things seem too big, decide how much time you have to spend on the project before it needs to be done. Divide the project is to smaller doable parts to fit the time available. Then just do the little parts as they are due.

In this way you can be proud of yourself. You have a plan and you are working that plan. This gives you psychological and physical energy to continue on. Procrastination robs you of you self-worth, psychological, and physical energy. It is devastating! Remember by small things, great things can be accomplished!

Trust in the Lord

Finally, and most importantly, always trust in the Lord. Whether things are at their worst or just normally lousy, remember to discuss these things with the Lord daily in your morning prayers. Discuss strategies to handle them for the day. Then invite the Lord to go with you throughout your day to help you handle the days problems as they arise or multiply.

Then at night examine the problems of the day and ongoing problems with the Lord in your nightly prayers. See how you well you did in handling them and how you could have done better. Strategize ways to deal with them better.

Dealing with Problems Appropriately

Learning how to deal with problems in the correct way is important because problems tend to recycle themselves either in your life or others in the same or similar fashion. When you have figured out a good coping technique for a problem, save it as a resource for later use, because you will need it.

When you work out life's problems with the Lord, He helps you with coping skills that you didn't have available before. You grow into a more capable strong person under His tutelage, by each positive gain you have. These positive steps will give you psychological strength, you grow in self esteem, and in your ability to attack and conquer life's problems.

The following is a list of things you can do to cope with problem while rationally thinking of ways to work them out:

rent a video

go fishing

work on the car

get a spousal back rub

clean the house

do a service for someone

go bowling

do a hobby

fix something

go to the library

read a book

write a letter

bird watch

visit a friend/neighbor

window shop

cloud watch

clean up the yard

go hiking

 

Annette Nay, Ph.D.

Annette Nay Homepage


     
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