My
Baby's Father Wants to Take Her
Copyright
© 2003
Dear Annette,
Can the father of my baby take
her away from me. The baby has his last name. He threatens me all the time
saying he is going to take her. He even told a friend he would kill me.
She is only three months old
and he yells at her when she cries and puts me down in front of her. I don't
understand such behavior its not like my baby can talk her only way to
communicate is through crying.
I am just tired of the whole
mess. I would have loved for him to be in her life, but I am scared for our
protection. I have no idea what to do.
He thinks he can just take her
away from me or at least try and I wanted to know what my rights are, so I can
stop this nonsense. We are both 20 and I have had a stable job for almost
three years, and he has been in and out of work the whole time we were
together. He never keeps a job. Well your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
The Mother
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Dear Mother,
It is important that you get
sole custody of your child. You
can do this through the child and family courts.
You have to show that you are the stable force in your child’s life
and the father is not. (See
bold black print below.)
Before going to court I would
take out a restraining order on this guy.
You can get help for free through your local Women’s Shelter.
Click here---> Organizational
Resources for the Abused
Yes you are being abused and
so is your child!
Tell them and the
court that you fear for your life and the life of your child. Tell them just what you told me…
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“He threatens me all the time saying he is going to take her. He even told a friend he would kill me.” “He is also into drugs and parties almost every night.” “She is only three months old and he yells at her when she cries.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If for some reason, these
people cannot help you, because you are not a resident there, you can file for
one down at the court yourself. Just
ask for help and they will walk you through it.
Either way, get it done, NOW!!!
I realize that a piece of paper
will not save you if he comes after you, but in court it justifies the judge
to give you sole custody.
In court you can also end his
visitation rights. I don’t
think you want this guy in either of your lives, as you need to protect both
of you!
Take all abusive-men’s
threats as real, especially those coming from a drug addicted person as they
regularly suspend reason, that would give them thought to not kill someone to
get what they want. With nothing to stop him from acting on his whims,
you both could be dead.
After you get custody, you need
to find another place to live preferably in a whole other state where this guy
would never look for you. Friends
and family are to be told to never tell anyone else where you are even if they
say they are a friend. After all you will tell all important people
what's going on with you. If they
are in doubt, have them call you first. These
guys can be ingenious with the reasons they or their friends have to get get a
hold of you. (i.e.
You just won the lottery, the court needs information on you, etc)
If these things occur tell your friends/family to get the name of the
person the business/office the represent, then call them with the number you
get from the phone book. Be very
skeptic of every non-friend/family call!
You may think that this is
extreme, but women in the same boat you are, are being killed every six
minutes in the United States.
You
are at high risk of being killed and so is your baby, at anytime!!!
Click on the article below to
see what I mean!
Emotional
and Psychological Abuse Continuum
Are
You Abused or Risk for Abuse?
Here is
some info that has helped others escape their stockers and/or abusers…
Breaking
Free from an Abusive Relationship
Please take me seriously and
take the steps I stated. If he is
a legal parent, you cannot take your child across state lines or he can sue
you for sole custody, which would be disastrous!
If I can be of more help, just
right!
Sincerely,
Annette Nay, MS