Getting Rid of a Druggie

Annette Nay, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2003


Dear Annette,

My brother is addicted to many things.  He has a history of violence, drug abuse, theft and any other reckless and defiant behavior you can think of.  I read your web page and It sounds like my life.  What suggestions might you have on how to get rid of a person like my brother.  He is currently living in my home and I want him out.  But as you know neither my family nor my belongings are safe.  Please help.  Any information would be useful.


Sad in LA


Dear Sad,

Sorry your life is such a mess, because of someone you care about.  At this time your brother is not himself, because the addiction has taken over.  Since he is not ready to do something about his problem, he needs to go.  There are only three ways to do this.

  1. Ask him to leave and get your house key back (Give a deadline…Ex. 3 PM today or you will pack up his things and put them out on the driveway).
  2. If he won't go on his own volition, pack up his things, put them out on the driveway, and change your locks.
  3. Call the police and have them escort him off your property.  Tell them that he won't leave, that he has a bad drug problem that causes him to be violent, and you fear for your safety.  As he is leaving, tell him that his things will be boxed and on the drive way at 3 PM tomorrow and to get them and take them away or they may get stolen.

If need be, get a restraining order to have him stay off your property and if he doesn't, call the police and have him thrown in jail.  Jail is a good thing for two reasons:

  1. It gets him off the property.
  2. When he goes in to withdrawal because of lack of drug, they will check him into a hospital so he can come off the drug with the proper medical treatment so the pain is not too bad and he doesn't die. 

Unless he is ready psychologically to do without his drug crutch in dealing with life, he will go back as soon as possible, even though his body is totally clean and not craving the drug.  This is his choice and no one can make the choice to stay clean for him. 

I'm glad that you decided to get him out of your life until he gets his life under control.  Tell him that you love him, but you cannot deal with his addiction and all the rotten things that have been going on because of it. 

The one positive thing you can do for your brother is to remember him in your prayers, asking God to intervene in helping your brother throw off his addiction.  You have to remember though, the Lord cannot take away your brother’s right to choose his lifestyle, but perhaps the Lord may judge that your brother no longer has a choice since he is taken over with the addiction.  Maybe it is your prayers that will make a difference in your brother’s life.  It never hurts to ask!

Meanwhile, hang tough!

Best wishes,

Annette Nay, Ph.D.

Annette Nay Homepage

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