Annette Nay, PhD

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Personal Pornography
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2004

Here's a topic I'm curious about, but can't find an answer to. You've treated pornography on your website. But what about nude and semi-nude photos my wife and I take of each other? We keep these pictures private and will ever do so.



Dear Wondering,

This is pornography. Webster’s definition of pornography is as follows: “The depiction of erotic behavior, as in pictures or writing, intended to cause sexual excitement.” This is exactly what your photos are and do! You have created your own collection of nudie pics, exactly as Playboy or Playgirl has done, except for private consumption.

Your personal porn can and will most likely lead you into far worse things. Your actions are the stepping-stones. When the pics of each other do not give you the sexual excitement that you are using them for; that is when you will turn to hard-core porn.

This is not the end of the down-ward steps one may take when one deals with pornography. It is not unusual for the hard-core porn user, after a time, to not be excited by even the most vile filth which is available. This leads them to seek out other avenues to satisfy their need for stepped-up excitement. Here is the general steps that are taken over time: The lease of these are extra marital affairs which can leads to sexual addictions and/or perversions such as masochistic and dominance behaviors. The worse case scenario is: peeping tom, then rape, and finally rape murders.

You did not mention if you had children. I am guess that you do not or they are very young. I can guarantee you that once they get about 5 and up they will get into everything. Even though you believe that you have hidden your pics in the perfect place, they will find them. One man thought that his stash of porn in a garage air vent was surprised to find the magazines in his boys bedroom. My children boasted that given about 15 minutes they could find the key to the freezer and the stash of ice cream. I didn’t believe it so I gave them the right to look for it. They found it within five minutes and had ice cream.

What I am getting at is that by having the pics you have opened yourself up for greater danger/problems than you anticipate. You have also allowed these pics into your home where children could be exposed to these same dangers.

Even though you are quite fond of these pics and think them loving gestures to each other, they are in fact, not. They are a time bomb waiting to go off. I highly suggest you get rid of the porn, and just enjoy each other. When the sex wanes as it always does, act out each other’s fantasies, minus any sexual perversions, of course.
Best wishes for a successful relationship.


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