The Job of the Mediator
Copyright © 1999
Annette Nay, Ph.D.

1. Call for a mediation meeting.
   • Mediation should be arranged when the participants are rested and not in a bad mood.
   • Post the time and date in a prominent place like the refrigerator, phone, or the bulletin board.
   • The memo should state what the mediation is about and who is to attend.
2. Get the participants ready for mediation.
   • Thank the participants for coming to mediation.
   • Go over the set of rules.
     • Post the rules in a prominent place where they can be seen at all times.
     • Both participants must agree to keeping the rules.
     • Briefly explain the mediation process.
     • Use a chart with the outline of things you intend to cover.
   • Ask both parties if they are willing to mediate.
   • Sign a contract to mediate and for confidentiality.
     • This may seem senseless between family members but it does help when things start to turn ugly.
3. You see that the rules of mediation are kept.
   • Call a cooling down period if necessary. This can be anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes.
   • Don't wait until fists or words are flying.
   • You should be to this point in the first session of mediation if not at least by the second.
   • Ask if a cooling down period is needed if:
     • volume of speech gets louder.
     • words are coming out forcefully.
     • words are being said in rapid fire.
     • tone of speech is higher pitched.
   • Do not continue mediation when the participants are tired. If it continues call a mandatory time out! State that we will take a (5 to 30 minutes) depending on how hot tempers are. Make it as soon as possible (ASAP), so ground is not lost over time.
4. A session of mediation usually lasts 1 ½ to 2 hour.
   • Mediation that is highly contentious should last only 1 hour. By that time the participants are getting tired and need to rest.
5. Reschedule the next session when it convenient for all parties. Make it ASAP.

Other Mediation Articles:

• Dispute Resolution Continuum
• Five Problem Solving Methods
• Stages of Mediation
• The Job of the Mediator
• Rules of Mediation
• Active Listening
• Communicating with "I" Messages
• Reframing Issues Positively
• Tips for Mediators Asking Questions
• Defining the Issues
• Venting
• How to Make Good Decisions
• Hints for De-Escalating Conflict
• Techniques for Breaking an Impasse
• What to Do if They Won't Negotiate
• Guidelines for Writing an Effective Agreement