Techniques for Using Skillful Questioning
in Mediation
- A mediator uses questions to get to the root of the problem. It is also
the mediator's job to make the participants feel comfortable without using
so many questions that the person feels s/he is being interrogated.
- The mediator can best do this by using open-end questions that make the
participant explain instead of just answering yes or no.
- Help the participant know that you are listening by using eye-to-eye
contact. Making appropriate comments or nodding in all the right places.
- If a participant gets long winded or becomes repetitious or goes off the
subject, summarize and then use questioning to either bring them back to the
point, to the conclusion of their narration, or on to another subject that
needs clarification.
- Do not feel that you need to fill silence with noise. Silence can help the
person clear their thoughts, get past a difficult feeling, or help him/her
organize his/her thoughts. You attention and body language tell the speaker
that you are supportive and will allow them the time they need.
- Questions such as: "Anything else?" "Is there something
else we should know?" Can help the speaker either end his/her narrative
or get to the next important point.
- Use questioning to define general statements into clarified statements.
Example:
Bill: He is always taking advantage of me.
Mediator: Can you give me an example of that?
Bill: He gets my help on projects, but then takes all the
credit.
- Use questions to help you ascertain if you are understanding the speaker
correctly.
- Use questions to fill in the gaps in a story.
- Use questions to help the participants to problem-solve. Ex: "Have
you thought of_______?"
- Questioning can be used to help the parties to weight their options. Ex:
"If Bill does _______, will you agree to do ________?"
References
Massachusetts District Court Mediation Project
Options Unlimited (1990) The Use of Questioning in
Mediation.
Other Mediation Articles
Dispute Resolution Continuum
Five Problem Solving Methods
Stages of Mediation
The Job of the Mediator
Rules of Mediation
Active Listening
Communicating with "I"
Messages
Reframing Issues Positively
Defining the Issues
Venting
Brainstorming Inventive Options
for a Win-Win Outcome
How to Make Good Decisions
Hints for De-Escalating
Conflict
Techniques for Breaking an Impasse
What to Do if They Won't Negotiate
Guidelines for Writing an
Effective Agreement
Annette Nay, MS