What If They Won't Negotiate?
To make the negotiations fair and easier, all parties must have a copy of this document
.
DON'T REACT.
Step back and look at the big picture.
Identify your interests.
Focus on your goal.
Don't get mad, don't get even, just negotiate for what you want.
STEP TO THEIR SIDE.
Listen actively
Agree when you can.
Acknowledge your opponents, his/her views, and feelings.
Express your views without provoking.
Create a favorable climate for negotiation.
CHANGE THE GAME.
Ask problem solving questions.
Ask your opponent for advice.
Ask why? Why not? What if?
Reframe
MAKE IT EASY TO SAY, "
YES
."
Get around obstacles.
Involve your opponent.
Satisfy your opponent's unmet interests.
Help your opponent save face.
Go slow.
MAKE IT HARD TO SAY, "
NO
."
Know the consequences, let your opponent know the consequences.
Aim for mutual satisfaction, not victory.
Reference
Options Unlimited (1991) Adapted from
Getting Past No
by William Ury.
Other Mediation Articles
Dispute Resolution Continuum
Five Problem Solving Methods
Stages of Mediation
The Job of the Mediator
Rules of Mediation
Active Listening
Communicating with "I" Messages
Reframing Issues Positively
Tips for Mediators Asking Questions
Defining the Issues
Venting
Brainstorming Inventive Options for a Win-Win Outcome
How to Make Good Decisions
Hints for De-Escalating Conflict
Techniques for Breaking an Impasse
Guidelines for Writing an Effective Agreement
Annette Nay, MS
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