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Use "I" Messages
Copyright © 2003
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Using "I" Messages
- "I" messages should come from the true feelings of a person.
- Instead of blaming others, "I" messages helps the person tell another how his/her behavior makes him feel.
- People can relate and deal better with feelings then with name calling or accusations brought on by strong feelings.
- When a people focuses on the way they are feeling, they begin to understand why they are feeling as they do. When they understand, they can do something positive about it.
- One of these positive things is telling the other person how s/he feels and trying to discover together positive ways to overcome negative feelings.
- I feel (state the feeling) when you (state the specific behavior), because (state the effects it has on you).
- I feel sad when you talk about me behind my back, because I feel betrayed, because I though we were friends.
Options Unlimited (1990) Mediation.