Helping Our Adult Children Understand
the Importance of
Using the Gospel as a Guide in Their Lives
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2008

Mom,

I think the gospel is bunk. God is not stupid or mean. He is not going to send us to hell because we get tattoos, get drunk, smoke or use drugs.

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Dear Son,

Please take a moment and read my thoughts. I am not lecturing you I truly want to communicate to you what I have not apparently helped you to understand. I have not helped you to understandings about the reasons for the gospel.  I would like to straighten that out, so you can use the gospel as a guideline for your life as it was intended. It is a gift from your loving Heavenly Father.

1. Tattoos, getting drunk, smoking and using drugs will not send you to the lowest kingdom of God, but Heavenly Father tells us not to do those things because they will not make us unhappy in the long run. They are general guidelines to help us.

• Getting drunk and smoking kills the body a little more each time they are used.
• Alcohol, tobacco, and drug usage are substances that can and do cause addiction and can lead to death.
• Tattoos will not kill you or cause addictions, but are graffiti on our bodies which are the temple for our spirit and a gift from our Heavenly Father.

2. Every commandment our Heavenly Father has given us is a command to get our appetites and behaviors under control. Why? It is because Gods have all power. You are in training to become a God. You cannot give all power to someone who has no control over himself.  Getting drunk, smoking, and doing drugs are not showing control of your appetites and behaviors. Also it is not very smart to do things that impairs your thinking or damages your body. These substances have been part in many things that have impaired the judgment of individuals to ease them into do things they would not normally do, but will qualify them for the lowest kingdom of God. These are murdering, stealing, and lying. Once one starts doing these things it is easier to do them again instead of repenting and never doing them again; which is what must be done to qualify you for either of the higher kingdoms of God.

It is hard enough to conduct one's self appropriately when doing one's own thinking, but what you may have forgotten is that Satan is very real. All things that bring darkness into your heart or mind, or impairs your thinking, allows him to take control of you. He actually hates your guts and truly wants to destroy you and take over your body, because he does not have one nor will ever have one.

He works 24-7 to figure out ways to destroy you and take over your body. If you think that he is not mindful of you, you are wrong. The prophet Joseph Smith stated that there are about seven devils at any time surrounding each of us trying to help Satan to achieve his goal. Remember there is a third of the host of heaven that are Satan's devils here among us all the time. That’s a lot of devils and a lot of evil thoughts coming at you and traps being laid to destroy you at anytime. Evil thoughts are difficult to put out of our minds when we are thinking clearly. Add alcohol, and drugs and you have a recipe for disaster, because we cannot think clearly and devils can. We just gave them home court advantage. Devils win and you lose.

Now do you see why Heavenly Father gave us the gospel to guide us? He is not a mean parent giving us a bunch of rules just because He can.  It is because He knows that if we play in traffic there is a real danger and chance that we will not make it out alive.

As your mother who loves you so much, I hope that you will take the truths of the gospel and allow them to help guide you through this life. The gospel principles are the true way to have happiness in this life and the next.

You are an adult now and I cannot be there all the time to help you make good choices. Going against the gospel is like playing in traffic. Eventually you will get hit, hurt, and/or killed. I know that for a fact. It really scares me.

Please, Son, stop playing in traffic! Your wife, your child, nor I want anything bad to happen to you. In fact they are depending on you to make correct choices, because you are their future. Whatever you do will totally impact their lives for good or evil. Please use the gospel to help you make wise choices for you and them. It will not guide you wrong.

You also have a Heavenly Father who loves you very much and is ready and willing to help you with any problems or questions you may have if you will only ask Him through prayer. Think of prayer as a cell phone to call Him, only you don't have to pay for the minutes each month and you have unlimited calling.

Heavenly Father like me is concerned for the welfare of your family and you. We want you to be happy. He says if you love me keep my commandments. What he is actually saying if you love me stop scaring me by playing in traffic.

Now you see what the gospel is for?

Love,
Mom