How Scouters can Counsel Scouts and Scouters Effectively

Annette Nay, MS

Copyright © 1994

Dear Scouter,

How many times have you listened endlessly to the troubles of another? Too many times probably! What did either of you come away with? The speaker was able to unburden his or her problems. This temporarily released some pressure and made him/her feel better. But the problem still exists. You got an ear full and will probably do so again because you were a good listener.

A good counselor has to listen. You've probably felt that listening was all you were qualified to do. What you really wanted to do was bring relief to this troubled person's life. Now you can help, and do so confidently! Just follow these steps:

• Listen to they're story! Listen more than talk.
• Check to see that you understand what they're ‚saying...summarize.
• You can give information but don't give advise. Know the difference.
• Listen to the individual as if they are of worth. Listen to him or her like you would want someone to listen to you.
• Put away your prejudices. Don't make judgments on the individual or his actions, just listen!
• Know when to refer the individual to a professional. You are giving first aid for a cut. Leave the deeper wounds to the professionals.
• How would things be if they were the way you wanted them to be? Write it down in detail.
• Choose issues to work on that will make a difference in solving the problem or reaching a goal.
• There are many solutions to a problem. Help the person search for the one that is best for him/her. S/he has to live with this decision.
• Develop a list of different ways to solve the problem.
• Choose the best solution for you.
• Consider your values, preferences and resources.
• Goals involving the participation of others are seldom accomplished since the individual is the one that is motivated.
• Write down the way s/he has selected to solve the problem. This becomes his/her goal!
• Remember you can't change others only yourself. You may have to remind the Scout or Scouter of this.
• The goal must be his/her own ideas or s/he will not take action to reach it.
• Break down the goal into‚do-able small steps.
• Put them down in chronological order.
• Give the starting date and the target date to be finished.
• Commit the Scout or Scouter to these goals.
• List the things that can be a self-rewarded for completion of each step. Small rewards for small steps and larger rewards for larger steps completed.
• Consider the scout's or Scouter's resources when deciding what rewards to use. Example: Take a bubble bath or verbally pat yourself on the
• Vary the types of rewards you given. If renting a video is the reward every time, the person may become a couch potato.
• Write down the requirements for getting the reward.

Rewards are not bribery but a pat on the back for setting and reaching goals. We all need them.

• Decide what will happen if the goal isn't finished on time or if a slip-up occurs and the person does the unwanted behavior. Write this down in detail. Example: If I do not finish my scripture reading before dinnertime, then I have to give up dessert for the day.
• Each morning ask for God's help to do better that day.
• Evaluate your progress with Him nightly.
• Have the person ask loved ones or friends help monitor and support his/her progress.
• Have the person picture himself/herself feeling and acting as if s/he has already reached the goal!
• Review progress and revise plan as needed. Don't let the individual quit because things aren't working out. Some goals may need some changes to make them work better. Review the effectiveness of each step and make changes where needed.
• Don't make goals that are so strict that they don't leave you room to be able to live effectively and reach your goals too. Example: I will do one part of my merit badge daily for a week. This should read: I will do one part of my merit badge daily or do seven parts during the week. This example allows for sickness or other reasons that would otherwise cause the person to fail because of the strictness of the first example.
• Realize that the changes make in a persons life do not effect just the person but all those s/he comes in contact with. Some of those people may try to get him/her to remain the same. The persons change make others look inward and see things they need to change. This makes them inadequate, uncomfortable, and feel threatened. Being forewarned is being forearmed. This will aid the persons ability to change in spite of others wanting things to stay the same.
• When someone changes for the good, s/he will affect others more positively and hopefully help them change too.

 

1. Listen	5. Set up little steps.	9. Gain support of others.
2. Perfect scenario	6. Write it down.	10. Set up rewards.
3. List possibilities.	7. Commitment	11. Act like success has happened.
4. Set up the goal.	8. Pray for help.	12. Review/Revise

Also see: Which Brings Best Results: Lecturing or Listening

Egan, G. (1990). The Skilled Helper, A Systematic Approach to Effective Helping (4th ed.) CA: Brooks/Cole Publishing Co.

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