Annette Nay, Ph.D.

Copyright © 1997

Is your testimony shaky? You need a solid base to be able to judge all truth, especially about religion. Where can you get this? No where else except the Lord, himself. You will know His answers through the Spirit.

Let's start with the basics. Do you know the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints is true beyond a shadow of a doubt? If you cannot say that, why give you time and talents to that church. You have better things to do with your time. You need to know it is true or not or else how can you judge what to do with the rest of your life. What if you are making the wrong choices because you don't know what the right choices are?

You have probably though that you could use the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Then use Him. You have the right! You are a son or daughter of God. He has promised that He would not leave you alone. Whether you are a member of the Church of JESUS CHRIST or Latter-day Saints or not you have the right to have help from your Heavenly Father.

If you have been confirmed a member of the church you have received the gift of the Holy Ghost to have with you at all times. He is yours to keep as long as you do not turn Him away. Whether you are a member or not you can chase the Spirit away in two ways.

1. Live in such a way that He cannot stand to be with you.
   • Surround yourself with good friends, music, and reading material. Note that there are good music and reading materials other than church stuff.
2. When the Spirit suggest something to you, you decide to do differently.
   • Your free agency is a gift from God. He cannot force you to do what He says or continually nag you about it until you change your mind and do what He asked you to do.
   • Otherwise here are the steps even a nonmembers can use to get guidance from the Spirit.
3. Pray for help in deciding what is right.
4. Think things through.
5. Make a decision.
6. Ask God if you decision was correct.
   • A "Yes" answer is a burning of the bosom or a warm swelling feeling in the chest area accompanied with a feeling that all is well or right.
   • A "No" answer is a stupor of thought or a dull cloudy feeling in your head. Your thoughts are hard to hold on to or disappear.
   • If you get a "No." answer, start over with number one above and work through to number four until you get the right answer.
   • The first few times you that you do this, you may feel kind of rust at it. It's like riding a bike. You get better and better as you practice. I know people that have a constant dialogue with God throughout their day and wouldn't think of trying to get through their day without God's answers through the Holy Spirit.
   • How can this happen? Whether you are a nonmember or a member, you need to make a friend out of God. He is your Father. I don't know about your earthly father, but mine loves me very much. He always wants to know how I am and what I've been up to. Why then would Heavenly Father be any different? If He has a perfect love for all His children, why wouldn't He care about you and in everything you do? Well, He does!

How do you make a friend? Do you talk, share confidences, go for walks together, cook together, cloud-watch to look for shapes, and laugh and cry together. That is my God!

ASSIGNMENT 1: Take your God down off His pedestal, dust Him off and use Him. Make Him your friend. Do the things that I have suggested above and more. Make your God one that you can and would want to go to for any reason, just to be near Him, because you love Him so much. So much so that you can't stand to be away from Him because it would break your heart.

Note: All prayers do not have to take place on your knees. A pray can be only a thought away.

ASSIGNMENT 2: Now that you have God as a friend, read the Book of Mormon. Pray each time before you read it and ask Him to help you understand it as you read. Then think about what you read and ask if it is true. You don't even have to wait until the end of your reading to ask if a certain passage is true. Do it right then.

Once you know that the Book of Mormon is true, then it follows that Joseph Smith was a true Prophet of God. If he was then, it is more than likely that Gordon B. Hinkley, our prophet today, is also a true prophet of God.

ASSIGNMENT 3: Ask God if Joseph Smith and Gordon B. Hinkley are His prophets.

Once you know that the prophets and the Book of Mormon are true then you know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true along with all the promises that state that if you keep the commandments found in Book of Mormon and the Bible (the gospel) that you will be happy. This does not mean you will be wealthy, or famous, but truly happy because you know for a surety from the gospel, who you are, where you have come from, and where you are going.

Do not make the mistake I did for years in thinking that you can never be perfect like your Heavenly Father so what is the use of trying...you will never make it home. That is so wrong! I testify to you that as long as you are trying to be good person , Jesus Christ will, through the atonement (the shedding of His innocent blood for us), make up the difference so we can make it back to Heavenly Father. Now that's an awesome promise, and I know it is true.

ASSIGNMENT 4: Ask God to help you be a better person each day. Choose something to work on and ask his help each morning. Ask for help as needed throughout the day. Then in the Evening evaluate what went well and what you need to work on tomorrow.

I guarantee you, that if you honestly complete the assignments, one at a time, then you will not be a fence sitter nor will you wonder what to do with religion in your life. You will know when to go on to the next step because you will ask God if you should. Get your answer and continue on.

The following is a section of Goal Setting and How to accomplish your goals.

1. Choose problems to work on that will make a difference in the quality of your life.
2. Don't waste your time on things which don't matter.
3. Your choice of goals should be a matter of prayer.
4. Define the problem.
5. Often we can only see the problem from our own point of view.
6. To make sure we truly understand the problem from all angles ask others what they think the problem is.
7. Now you know what the problem is.
8. How would things be if they were the way you wanted them to be?
9. Write these down. These become your primary goals.
10. How would you know things were the way you wanted them to be?
11. Write these down in detail.
12. The details become supporting secondary goals to reach your main goal.
13. There are many solutions to a problem.
14. Develop a list of different ways to solve the problem.
15. Consider your values, preferences, and resources, then decide how best to reach your goals.
16. Search for solutions to your secondary goals which you can live with.
17. These become supporting goals which will help you reach your secondary and primary goals.
18. Break down the supporting goals into doable small steps.
19. Write them down in the order they need to be accomplished.
20. Give the starting date and a projected finish date for each step.
21. Commit yourself to start and finish each step.
22. List things that you can do to reward yourself when you finish each step.
23. Consider your resources when deciding what you can afford to reward yourself. Example: Take a bubble bath, visit a friend, or go out to lunch.
24. Vary the types of rewards you give yourself.
25. If renting a video is your reward every time, you may become a couch potato.
26. Write down the requirements for getting the reward.
27. Give yourself small rewards for accomplishing small steps and larger rewards for larger steps.
28. Rewards are not bribery but a pat on the back for setting and reaching your goals.
29. Decide what consequences will take place if you haven't finished your goal by a certain time or if you slip up and do the unwanted behavior. Write this down in detail.
30. Example: If I do not finish my scripture reading before dinnertime, then I give up dessert for the day.
31. Before you begin a goal you should write down the primary, secondary, and supporting goals along with the start and finish dates, rewards, and consequences.
32. Then ask God to help you obtain you goals.
33. Each morning ask God for His help to do better that day.
34. Evaluate your progress with God nightly.
35. Ask your loved ones, friends, and Visiting Teachers to help monitor and support your progress.
36. Picture yourself feeling and acting as if you have already reached your goal.
37. The more vivid the picture the better chance you have or reaching your goal.
38. Try never to set goals which involve the participation of others.
39. These goals are seldom accomplished since you are the one that is motivated.
40. Don't quit because things aren't working out.
41. Some goals may need some changes to make them work better.
42. Review the effectiveness of each step and make changes where needed.
43. Don't make goals which are so strict they don't leave room for effective living and goal attainment too. Bad Example: I will read one chapter in my scriptures daily for a week.
44. This should read: I will read one chapter in my scriptures daily or 7 chapters for the week. This example allows for sickness or other reasons that would otherwise cause you to fail because of the strictness of the first example.
45. Changes made in your life affect you and all you come in contact with.
46. Some of those people may try to get you to remain the same, because change is comfortable or threatening to them. Your change could make them look inward.
47. Seeing things which need changing causes feelings of inadequacy and discomfort.
48. Being forewarned is being forearmed. This warning will aid your ability to change in spite of others wanting things to stay the same.
49. When you change for the good you will affect others more positively and, hopefully, help them want to change too.
50. Remember, you can not change others; they must do this for themselves.
51. You can only be the catalyst.
52. Below is an example of a goal ready to start.
53. Primary Goal: Get a one year supply of food.
54. Secondary Goal: Spend $10.00 per month on food the family likes.
55. a. Supporting Step: Purchase plastic storage containers to store food in.
56. b. Supporting Step: Buy basic foods like wheat, powdered milk, salt, & sugar.
57. c. Supporting Step: Mark items with the date purchased.
58. d. Supporting Step: Use old food stored first. Start date: September 1, 1997
59. Finish date: Continuous 'til 1 years of food is amassed.
60. Reward: Pat self on the back and self sufficiency.
61. Consequence: Not prepared for the last days/ starvation.

Egan, G. (1990). The Skilled Helper, A Systematic Approach to Effective Helping

Nay, A. (1997). HOW TO COUNSEL Published at : <http://www.annettenay.com/>

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