How to Forgive and Forget
Copyright
© 2003
Dear Annette,
My husband has recently repented from a Word of Wisdom problem and is trying to be a better person. My problem is that I'm having a hard time to forgive him.
Our children are married but inactive because of their father's past behavior. I know he has always loved us, but I can't get over the loss of having my children in the gospel and with me for eternity.
I can't help but think that if he tried harder a few years ago instead of waiting till our children were grown, we could be an eternal family. We rarely had FHE because he never felt like it.
Now, as a couple, we try to read the Scriptures more often. He is getting ready to go back to the Temple but... I have practically stopped praying which has me feeling guilty and unworthy.
I am 2nd Counselor in Primary and we are currently study about the Holy Ghost & I feel ashamed to teach the children what I haven't been able to obtain. I want to feel happy about my husband but.. Please help me find a way to get closer to my husband and back with the Holy Spirit.
Thanks for listening.
Dear Sister,
As I see it you are throwing all that you hold dear away because you cannot forgive your mate. What is the good in that? It is true that your children are inactive. It is also true that your husband was little or no support to you in teaching your children the gospel, but can you hold him totally responsible for how they turned out?
Didn't your children have their own free agency to go to church, study the gospel, or pray? Weren't they taught the gospel?
If you and/or the church taught them the gospel, you and they have a promise. God promises states that if you raise your children up correctly when they are young, that when they are old, they will return to those same teachings (Proverbs 22:6).
How can God promise that? It is because He is God and He CAN turn them around. He lets them hit bottom. Then, in their desperation, He gently reminds them there is a better way, they can find happiness through following the gospel, and they can depend on His help.
It is in their darkest hour that they start the repentance process and call upon God for help. He will be there to help them up. It is only then that they are ready to listen to Him again.
It is Christ job to help us to get back to Heavenly Father. He doesn't take His job lightly. He has figured out a game plan to lead your children back to Heavenly Father. He had hopes to get more help from your husband with this project, but that doesn't mean that He has given up, nor has He dropped the ball. You too must learn to trust Him.
Christ is your champion. It is a sad moment that you choose not to thank God for all that Christ has done, is doing, and will do for your family and you. You need to pray more now than ever.
1. Pray that Christ will activate His plan to bring your children back to God so that you can be and Eternal Family.
2. Pray that there is something left of your union with your mate to grow an eternal union and thereby have an eternal family for the children to come back to.
3. Pray that you can have the pain and ugliness purged from your heart and that you can forgive your husband.
Remember Christ intents that you forgive all men. If you cannot do this He will not forgive you. Without forgiveness of your sins where does that leave you? I leaves you without an eternal/Celestial home, without heavenly parents and loved ones. You loose the blessing that you would have received had you returned with honor to Heavenly Father.
There are no families or mates outside the Celestial Kingdom! Are you ready to give up everything so Satan can lead you around on a nose ring. Through you he is destroying what good still exists! Wake up and see what he is doing to you!
See:
Ten Warning Signs that Show You're Leaving the Lord
http://www.annettenay.com/Apostacy.htm
First:
Learn to let go, forget and forgive!
See:
Forgiving and Forgetting is a Blessing
http://www.annettenay.com/Forgetting.htm
Second:
Make God your best friend, because indeed He is. You have to initiate the relationship, because of the gift of free agency He has given you. Do so immediately!
1. Learn to pray effectively!
See:
God Answers Silent and Vocal Prayers
http://www.annettenay.com/Prayers.htm
2. If you haven't got a
testimony of the Book of Mormon, read it and get one!
See:
How to Grow A Testimony
http://www.annettenay.com/Grow.htm
I
hope that you will take the steps listed above and
work
with your husband to gain and eternal partnership!
Best
wishes,