Coping with the Bad Times
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2000

Dear Annette,

What do you do for yourself each day to feel better about lousy things?

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Dear Friend,

There are several tools I use to help me cope with bad times whether they are mental of physical. I may have to use several at a time if things get real bad, but in the end I can cope because I practice these things.

Lamaze Breathing Techniques

Since I had all natural births, I learned Lamaze Breathing Techniques well as I had to have it for the great event every two years for twelve years.

In-between times, whenever I got a headache, or felt bad I would go into my breathing. If it were just a regular headache (not a migraine) I could eliminate it with the breathing. Now, when I start feeling bad it kicks in automatically. I'll be doing something and I'll find myself huffing and puffing even before I realize I am not doing so well.

I'm sure you have heard people say when you are stressed out to breathe deeply. Well, I'm living proof, it works!

Also when I am handled a chunk of information that should knock me for a loop, I take a few minutes and breath deeply. If it is really bad stuff, then sometimes I even open my mouth to get in as much oxygen to the brain as possible. This give me more oxygen to think better and it also give me time back away from the problem so I can ease into it gracefully.

There is almost nothing that can't wait for a few minutes for an answer. I buy myself some time and reduce the stress by just breathing! It works!

Stop Dwelling on the Problem

I refuse to dwell on stuff that makes me sad or bitter. This is not to say that I refuse to deal with it. I get in and do what I must immediately, and then get out. Then I put it out of my mind.

Compartmentalize Your Problems

One of the best ways to get rid yourself of thoughts and worries is to compartmentalize them. To do this you see yourself putting a particular problem in a hat box up in the top or your closet.

Some people see themselves putting their problems in an old fashioned desk with many compartments. Others have a worry bush they use. Once outside the office they dump the office problems on the bush and do not think about those problems again until they pick them up again as they arrive at work. One person reported that their worry bush died! Remember bushes have a spirit too. Don't over burden the poor bush.

Which ever way you choose to compartmentalize your problems, you are symbolically putting the problem away from you so that it does not bother you continuously and waste your energy. It helps to clear your thinking so you can concentrate on your family, other matters, or helps you to enjoy what there is to enjoy of life.

Procrastination is a Killer

Never procrastinate! It is poison to your well being! Just get it done. Usually people put off something because it is too big or it causes then psychological pain. When things seem too big, decide how much time you have to spend on the project before it is needed to be done. Then divide the project is to smaller doable parts to fit the time available. Then just do the little parts as they are due.

In this way you can be proud of yourself. You have a plan and you are working that plan. This gives you psychological and physical energy to continue on. Procrastination robs you of you self-worth, psychological, and physical energy. It is devastating! Remember by small things, great things can be accomplished!

Trust in the Lord

Finally, and most importantly, always trust in the Lord. Whether things are at their worst or just normally lousy, remember to discuss these things with the Lord daily in your morning prayers. Discuss strategies to handle them for the day. Then invite the Lord to go with you throughout your day to help you handle the days problems as they arise or multiply.

Then at night examine the problems of the day and ongoing problems with the Lord in your nightly prayers. See how you well you did in handling them and how you could have done better. Strategize ways to deal with them better.

Dealing with Problems Appropriately

Learning how to deal with problems in the correct way is important because problems tend to recycle themselves either in your life or others in the same or similar fashion. When you have figured out a good coping technique for a problem, save it as a resource for later use, because you will need it.

When you work out life's problems with the Lord, He helps you with coping skills that you didn't have available before. You grow into a more capable strong person under His tutelage, by each positive gains you have. These positive steps gives you psychological strength, you grow in self esteem, and in your ability to attack and conquer life's problems.

It is totally important to take on life with the Lord as your companion! Also, it is important to remember to thank Him for His help as soon as possible!

I hope you will trust in the Lord and in His wisdom for you and your growth.