Coping with the Bad Times
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2000
What do you do for yourself each day to feel better about lousy
There are several tools I use to help me cope with bad times whether
they are mental of physical. I may have to use several at a time if
things get real bad, but in the end I can cope because I practice these
Lamaze Breathing Techniques
Since I had all natural births, I learned Lamaze Breathing Techniques
well as I had to have it for the great event every two years for twelve
In-between times, whenever I got a headache, or felt bad I would go
into my breathing. If it were just a regular headache (not a migraine) I
could eliminate it with the breathing. Now, when I start feeling bad it
kicks in automatically. I'll be doing something and I'll find myself
huffing and puffing even before I realize I am not doing so well.
I'm sure you have heard people say when you are stressed out to
breathe deeply. Well, I'm living proof, it works!
Also when I am handled a chunk of information that should knock me
for a loop, I take a few minutes and breath deeply. If it is really bad
stuff, then sometimes I even open my mouth to get in as much oxygen to
the brain as possible. This give me more oxygen to think better and it
also give me time back away from the problem so I can ease into it
There is almost nothing that can't wait for a few minutes for an
answer. I buy myself some time and reduce the stress by just breathing!
Stop Dwelling on the Problem
I refuse to dwell on stuff that makes me sad or bitter. This is not
to say that I refuse to deal with it. I get in and do what I must
immediately, and then get out. Then I put it out of my mind.
Compartmentalize Your Problems
One of the best ways to get rid yourself of thoughts and worries is
to compartmentalize them. To do this you see yourself putting a
particular problem in a hat box up in the top or your closet.
Some people see themselves putting their problems in an old fashioned
desk with many compartments. Others have a worry bush they use. Once
outside the office they dump the office problems on the bush and do not
think about those problems again until they pick them up again as they
arrive at work. One person reported that their worry bush died! Remember
bushes have a spirit too. Don't over burden the poor bush.
Which ever way you choose to compartmentalize your problems, you are
symbolically putting the problem away from you so that it does not
bother you continuously and waste your energy. It helps to clear your
thinking so you can concentrate on your family, other matters, or helps
you to enjoy what there is to enjoy of life.
Procrastination is a Killer
Never procrastinate! It is poison to your well being! Just get it
done. Usually people put off something because it is too big or it
causes then psychological pain. When things seem too big, decide how
much time you have to spend on the project before it is needed to be
done. Then divide the project is to smaller doable parts to fit the time
available. Then just do the little parts as they are due.
In this way you can be proud of yourself. You have a plan and you are
working that plan. This gives you psychological and physical energy to
continue on. Procrastination robs you of you self-worth, psychological,
and physical energy. It is devastating! Remember by small things, great
things can be accomplished!
Trust in the Lord
Finally, and most importantly, always trust in the Lord. Whether
things are at their worst or just normally lousy, remember to discuss
these things with the Lord daily in your morning prayers. Discuss
strategies to handle them for the day. Then invite the Lord to go with
you throughout your day to help you handle the days problems as they
arise or multiply.
Then at night examine the problems of the day and ongoing problems
with the Lord in your nightly prayers. See how you well you did in
handling them and how you could have done better. Strategize ways to
deal with them better.
Dealing with Problems Appropriately
Learning how to deal with problems in the correct way is important
because problems tend to recycle themselves either in your life or
others in the same or similar fashion. When you have figured out a good
coping technique for a problem, save it as a resource for later use,
because you will need it.
When you work out life's problems with the Lord, He helps you with
coping skills that you didn't have available before. You grow into a
more capable strong person under His tutelage, by each positive gains
you have. These positive steps gives you psychological strength, you
grow in self esteem, and in your ability to attack and conquer life's
It is totally important to take on life with the Lord as your
companion! Also, it is important to remember to thank Him for His help
as soon as possible!
I hope you will trust in the Lord and in His wisdom for you and your