Cleaving To Each Other
Annette Nay, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2004
My wife seems to be more committed to her parents than to me, even after 6 years of marriage and 2 children. I've shared my concern with her. I can't force anything, but how can I persuade her to change?
Dear Wanting a Change,
The three pronged approach:
1. Educate: The scriptures are rich with the same message:
Gen. 2:24 - "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Matt. 19:5 - "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?"
Mark 10: 7 - "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wifeÖ"
Eph. 5:31 - "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh."
Moses 3:24 - "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh."
Abr. 5: 18 - "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh."
The scriptures do not mean that only males are required to do the clinging and leaving the father and mother behind. This would make reason stare. If only one spouse in the marriage is clinging, there isnít a strong marriage. The scriptures often only use the male gender to refer to both sexes, equally.
2. Include the Lord Make an informed decision. (See: How to Make Good Decisions) After the decision is made, pray and fast together about it. This could be done on a Fast Sunday. Meanwhile you can:
3. Pray and fast for her to have a change of heart.
4. Treat her with an abundance of love and care. Seek out small sweet and tender ways to show her that you love her. Act as if you are wooing her again combined with the love and concern you gave her as a newly wed. Often if a person is treated like they are a newly wed, that after a short time, they respond like a newly wed. If the other four points do not work, then do point 5.
5. Get counseling through the Bishop. Have the Bishop call her in and have him counsel her. If none of these things works, then you will have to take what you can get of her. You cannot change another. The change has to come from within the person.