Divorced Women and Celestial Marriage
Copyright © 1999, Annette Nay, MS
Dear Annette:
I just read your column "Considering Divorce," from a recently converted sister who was considering divorce from her nonmember spouse. I also am a recent convert, but I was divorced before joining the church. I would like to remarry, but would only consider a worthy priesthood holder -- and as you noted, single priesthood holders in my age group (40s) are few and far between! My questions are these:
1. If I do not marry before I die, will I ever be able to attain the celestial kingdom? I'm very confused because a recent "Ask Gramps" column stated that there would be no marriages after death.
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Dear Sister,
I have always understood that during the millennium that the spirits would mingle with the saints and that there would be marriages at that time. So you do not have to settle for anyone in your own time, but can choose from any of those worthy men who have come before and after. Polygamy will be restored so there will be no problem gaining a desirous husband if you have become a desirous wife.
How to Become a Desirous Wife
Do what you must to be come temple ready and then take out your endowments. Keep your temple covenants. Set goals in the areas you need to better yourself and do it. Perfect yourself one step at a time. If you are doing this, then when your time comes to leave this earth, the Lord will make up for those things that you are not perfect in, through His atonement for us.
See: How to Set Goals and Attain them
Click here--> http://www.annettenay.com/Goals.htm
Repent of those things that you are doing that are not in keeping with your covenants.
See: The Steps to True Repentance
Click here--> http://www.annettenay.com/Repentance.htm
Never accept another's words as "Gospel," as their knowledge my be hearsay and not founded in the gospel principles. You have two very definite sources of knowledge on which you can depend. These are...
1. The Lord
2. His servants the Prophets: The prophets and apostles in any dispensation, especially ours, because they speak to us of our times.
When you receive any information from our prophets you need to know that it is true. Study it out, make a decision, and then ask the Lord if it is correct. Through the Holy Ghost, you will know the truth of all things.
See: How
to Make Good Decisions
Click here--> http://www.annettenay.com/Decisions.htm
What I Found
I will give you the information that I found and then you will have to think about it. Remember that God is a just and loving God and would not lead you to the gospel only to have the doors of the Celestial kingdom slammed in your face, because all the decent men are taken.
I can't tell you where this information came from because I found it at:
Info-Base Library
http://infobase.ldsworld.com/sdbin/sdext.dll?f=file%5C%5Bfbrowse-h.htm%5D
which has been a reliable source of information usually taken from Church sanctioned sources such as:
The Teachings of the Prophets
The book: Mormon Doctrines
The Ensign
General Conferences
Church Broadcasts such the General Relief Society Broadcasts for Women
Info-Base Library gives you all the information for free, but you have to pay for the sources. Slick, advertising, but I can't afford it.
The following sounds suspiciously like a general authority speaking in the Gospel Doctrines book. Again, take the information, think about it, make a decision as to whether it is true or not then get the answer straight from God.
You cannot afford to take for granted any source except God, since we
are talking about your eternal life!
Excerpt.....
OBLIGATION OF MEN TO MARRY
Any young man who carelessly neglects this great commandment to marry, or who does not marry because of a selfish desire to avoid the responsibilities which married life will bring, is taking a course which is displeasing in the sight of God. Exaltation means responsibility. There can be no exaltation without it....
If a man refuses to take upon himself the responsibilities of married life, because he desires to avoid the cares and troubles which naturally will follow, he is taking a course which may bar him forever from the responsibilities which are held in reserve for those who are willing to keep in full the commandments of the Lord. His eternal progression will thus be limited. Like the Sadducees of old, he will be numbered among the angels who cannot be enlarged. It will not be his privilege to be numbered among the sons of God, and thus be entitled as an heir to partake of the blessings reserved for those who receive an inheritance in the Father's kingdom....
EXALTATION FOR FAITHFUL UNMARRIED WOMEN
You good sisters, who are single and alone, do not fear, do not feel that blessings are going to be withheld from you. You are not under any obligation or necessity of accepting some proposal that comes to you which is distasteful for fear you will come under condemnation. If in your hearts you feel that the gospel is true, and would under proper conditions receive these ordinances and sealing blessings in the temple of the Lord; and that is your faith and your hope and your desire, and that does not come to you now; the Lord will make it up, and you shall be blessed-for no blessing shall be withheld....
The Lord will judge you according to the desires of your hearts when blessings are withheld in this life, and he is not going to condemn you for that which you cannot help....
UNMARRIED WOMEN JUDGED BY DESIRES
According to modern custom, it is the place of the man to take the initiative in the matter of a marriage contract. Women are, by force of such custom, kept in reserve and whether it be right or wrong for a woman to take the lead and offer a proposal of marriage, she feels, and she knows that the public would also feel, that she was acting in a forward and unbecoming manner. This is all wrong, but nevertheless it is the fact. The responsibility therefore rests upon the man....
No woman will be condemned by the Lord for refusing to accept a proposal which she feels she could not properly accept. In my judgment it is far better for our good girls to refuse an offer of marriage when they think that the companionship of the man would be disagreeable, or if he is one they do not and believe they cannot learn to love....
If in her heart the young woman accepts fully the word of the Lord, and under proper conditions would abide by the law, but refuses an offer when she fully believes that the conditions would not justify her in entering a marriage contract, which would bind her forever to one she does not love, she shall not lose her reward. The Lord will judge her by the desires of the heart, and the day will come when the blessings withheld shall be given, though it be postponed until the life to come....
USE CARE IN CHOOSING MARRIAGE COMPANION
This life is short, and eternity is long. When we contemplate that the marriage covenant will endure forever, it is well that it should be given careful consideration. Hasty action in this most important step in life may fill the mortal lives of husband, wife, and children with endless sorrow. The results may and often do reach into eternity and cause irreparable regrets that will endure forever. Marriage, from the viewpoint of the Latter-day Saint, is the one thing in life where it might prove fatal to act in haste with the idea in mind that repentance could come at leisure....
...The proper advice to our youth is to consider carefully with the view of choosing well a companion with an abiding faith in the gospel. Such a person is more likely to prove true to every vow and covenant. When the young man and the young woman are thoroughly grounded in the divine mission of our Lord and believe the gospel as revealed through Joseph Smith, the Prophet, the chances are all in favor of a happy union that will endure forever....
My advice is to our girls, if you cannot find a husband who would be true
to his religion and have faith in the gospel of our Lord, it is better to
abide in "single blessedness." It is better to suffer some denial
in mortal life and receive life everlasting than to lose your salvation in
the
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2. If I do meet someone and we decide to marry, will I be able to marry in the temple, or will I have to have a civil ceremony and only a sealing in the temple?
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This, I understand, is based on the previous marriage. Has it be whole dissolved, legally? For all the ramifications and to make sure all ends are tied appropriately, talk to your bishop! He has a book from Church Presidency dealing with these things.
I believe, however, that if all is tidily taken care of legally with the previous marriage, you are free to get a temple marriage, if you are worthy. To see what this means read...
Why We Must Prepare to go to the Temple
Click here--> http://www.annettenay.com/Temple.htm
and
Three Steps To A Celestial
Marriage
Click here-->
http://www.annettenay.com/Steps.htm
This is one of the keys to the
Sincerely,