Annette Nay, PhD

Article Index

Mental Health
Spouse & Date Abuse
Coping With Assault
Emotional Trauma
Health and Physical Fitness
Weight Control
Long-Term Illness
Multiple Sclerosis
Emotional Trauma
Church Leadership
Scout Leadership
Stories With A Point
National Heritage

Breaking Free from an Abusive Relationship
Dawn Bradley Berry

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) has prepared a list of recommendations on what a woman can do if she decides to stay for the time being, based on NiCarthy's Getting Free. The following list includes the recommendations of NiCarthy and the NCADV; plus ideas and suggestions from various other sources.

1. Get information. By reading this book you are taking a step toward freedom and a new life. Read others-many more are listed in the appendix. Learn about your situation and what options you have. Many of the organizations listed at the end of this article will send you free brochures and information if you write or call. Your state domestic violence coalition is a good place to start. Gather up the phone numbers of all the people and agencies you could call upon for help in an emergency and afterward: hotlines, the police, shelters, friends, the sheriff, family, the church, the prosecutor's office, the public library, the YWCA, the Salvation Army, state and local domestic violence coalitions, and general crisis or self-help lines.

2. Go ahead and call the local crisis line, hotline, shelter, or coalition for help and information. Even if you donít want to leave the relationship now, even if you truly believe what happened was an isolated incident that will never happen again, it is a good idea to find out what services are available in your community in case there ever is a second time. Ask about crisis accommodations for you, your children, and even your pets. Will they come pick you up in the middle of the night if necessary? Find out how long you can stay. Do they provide, or give references to, other services, such as counseling, legal assistance, court advocates? If you would have to travel to another town to reach a shelter, find out how to get there. Remember that shelters aren't only for poor people, they help women of all income levels. Also, be aware that most shelters offer support to women not living in the shelter as well. Most provide counseling, group sessions, and referrals to anyone who needs them.

3. Pack a bag with emergency supplies such as a change of clothing for yourself and your children, a toothbrush, some cash, canned and nonperishable foods, and telephone numbers for friends, the local shelter, taxi, and anyone else you may need to turn to in and emergency. Try to leave it at the home of a trusted friend or family member who lives nearby. If no one you trust completely is close, you many want to consider a locker at a bus or train station or the airport.

4. Tell trustworthy, supportive friends and family members what is going on. They can be prepared if there is a crisis, offer emotional support, and help in many different ways, from simply listening to providing transportation and child care. Write a letter in your handwriting to someone you trust detailing what your abuser has done to you, his full name, when incidents occurred, and sign and mail it. It may be useful later as evidence. Do be careful to confide only in those who truly care about your well being. If anyone tells you the abuse is your fault or that you should accept abusive treatment, that person does not have your best interest at heart. Never listen to this kind of talk-it is flat out wrong.

5. Many professionals recommend self-defense training. This type of class can also help you build self-reliance and emotional strength. However, don't count on such training alone to make you safe. Many women can still be overpowered by an enraged man and end up getting more seriously injured if they try to fight back. Also, most say to avoid bringing weapons into the home. Far too often, weapons, especially guns, are used against the victim or end up in the hands of children.

6. Talk to a legal advisor. Find out about restraining orders, divorce, and other legal concerns. Many communities have legal advocates, lawyer hotlines, or legal aid groups that can provide free advice and referrals to lawyers.

7 .Talk to your children about what is happening-they are almost sure to know what is going on, or at least that things arenít right, even if you donít think they have ever witnessed the violence directly. Make certain they understand that the violence is not their fault.

8. Prepare a safety plan for yourself and your children. Make a list of telephone numbers of people you are sure you can depend on in an emergency, preferably people you have talked to about the violence and who have offered to help. Include the phone numbers of shelters, and keep this list in your wallet. If someone you trust lives close to you, ask if you could have keys to his or her house in case of emergency. Have an extra key for your house and car made, and keep them in your wallet as well. You may also want to line up people who can loan you money in an emergency.

9. Begin thinking about what it will be like to live independently. Consider whether or not you will want to change jobs, if you are employed, or what kind of work you would seek if you are not. Look into job training programs, apprenticeships, classes in your community, public aid programs. Acquire new job skills. Learn about community college or extension courses, yourself to use a computer, find out where to sell garden products, handcrafts, baked goods, or other things you know how to make. Your public library can help you get this information, as can womenís self-sufficiency programs, the YWCA, local schools, and state job training and employment programs. Find out what is out there.

10. Be aware that leaving is going to be hard, stressful, and emotionally draining. Take care of your health, If you start to have doubts or fears about getting out of the relationship, keep yourself focused on why you have to go. Remember that worst of the violence. Remind yourself that women die by the thousands every year at the hands of men who claim to love them.

11. Get important documents together, such as your driverís license, birth certificates for you and your children, insurance papers, passports, social security cards, wedding and baptismal records, school records, investment records, documents from any public assistance program, leases, titles to your car and other property, savings account books, checkbooks, credit cards, paychecks stubs, tax returns, and medical records.

12. Gather up the possessions that have special sentimental value, such as family photos, heirlooms, childrenís drawings, and jewelry. Vengeful partners often destroy a womenís property when she leaves. Also consider pets-abusers often turn on them.

13. Donít tell anyone where you plan to go unless you trust them completely, Remember, abusers often become the most dangerous when women try to leave. Try not to leave any evidence of the changes and preparations youíre making where he could find them. Have plausible excuses ready in case he does find cash youíve hidden, for example, Say you were saving for a present for him, a special dinner our for the two of you, something for your child.

14. Become familiar with your monthly expenses. List what you spend for groceries, rent, medical care, child care, transportation to and from work, insurance, and any other fixed expenses. You may need this information to complete forms for restraining orders, social assistance programs, or other purposes. It's also a good way to assess how much you will need to earn on your own.

15.Go ahead and do things on your own. Get an new job, make friends, hire a sitter, and go out now and then. Some partners won't notice the newfound behavior or will grudgingly put up with it. Some partners bully only those who are afraid of them It may be best to make these changes during a ďhoneymoon phase.Ē Do consider the risk involved, and proceed with caution.

16. Start changing your life secretly, a little at a time. Save money out of the grocery fund, garage sale proceeds, or any separate funds you may have. Even a small amount can make a big difference. Try to keep enough money with you all the time to pay for a cab to a safe place and, if you don't have a trustworthy friend nearby, enough to pay for one or more nights in a motel. Keep small change in your pocket at all times for pay phones. Get a credit card in your own name, and have statements sent to your workplace or the home of a trusted friend.

17. Don't tell the abuser youíre going to a daytime class or support group, but go. Join a battered woman's group-you don't have to be out of the relationship first. Get out and meet new people. Rekindle old friendships.

18. Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of leaving and staying.

19. Learn the signs of coming violence. Work on sharpening your observation skills. Does he drink more, find petty things to complain about, want to go out every night, sit morosely in front of the TV more than usual? Notice changes in your partner before he goes into a violent rage...his tone of voice, what he says, his habits, his behavior toward you and the children. Know and be as certain as you can whether these changes take place weeks or merely hours or minutes before the violence.

20. Write down these clues in his behavior. You will have a sense of the pattern and you will feel more self-confident of what you observe.

21. When you see the signs coming, or preferably before, get out. Go to a trusted friend's or relative's house-a place where there is plenty of room for you with people who care about you. Be careful not to go back too soon-he may be hanging on to the rage until you return. Stay until you can be sure the rage is spent. Use a third party to speak to your partner periodically so you can avoid being talked into returning too soon, and you'll get more reliable information.

22. Know which motel you might go to and how to get there. Travel from your house to it several times for practice so, in times of high stress, you will be familiar with the route and the location. You may want to scout out parking that will be out of sight. It's also a good idea to consider several alternatives in case one motel is full.

23. Develop the habit of backing your car in the driveway. Leave the driverís door unlocked, but be sure to lock the other doors. Make sure your abuser doesnít block you in. In that case park on the street and make up and excuse.

24. Work out a signal system with a neighbor (preferably one who is home a lot) in case you need help, for example, a designated window shade in the down position means for him or her to call the police. Make sure the neighbor knows the signal and what to do.

25. Remove from the wall or countertop any knife rack with knives in it. Get rid of the rack or put the knives in a hard-to-reach place, or give them to someone else for safekeeping. Also, put scissors, letter openers, and other sharp objects in hard-to-reach places.

26. Make a plan so you know what you can do if the phone wires are cut or if you find yourself without electricity. Keep flashlights handy and batteries fresh. Know where the closest pay phone is located and how to get there by either walking or driving. Locate the closest all-night store and other places you could go where there are people.

27. If there are guns in the house have someone teach you how to safely unload them. Keep ammunition in a separate place, or if you anticipate coming violence get rid of it. Lock it is a file drawer or put it in so out-of-the-way-place. Unload any and all firearms.

28. Try not to wear scarves, long necklaces, loose clothing, or jewelry. Clothes can be grabbed and anything around your neck can be used to strangle you.

29. Keep a good supply of gas in the car and try to have it in working order at all times. Learn to drive if you do not know how.

30. Rehearse your departure. Be sure not to tell the abuser you are leaving-to protect yourself. He will probably become more enraged and try to stop you if you do. Anticipate the violence early enough so you can slip away while he is at work, or if he does not leave the home to work, say you have to go out for a common reason, like you need to get milk, groceries, diapers, or a prescription. Offer to pick something up at the store for him. You might want to tell him you promised a neighbor you'd bring her a recipe, a book, or a scarf she asked to borrow. Have several plausible reasons for leaving at different times of the day or night.

31. If the rage builds up at night, plan to have a reason to go outside. Start to do the laundry, walk the dog, or throw out the garbage late at night. Keep things in the garage or your car that you might need inside, extra garbage bags or light bulbs, for instance. Keep coats, hats, and gloves close to each door. Keep those extra keys and telephone numbers, as well as some extra cash, in your wallet purse at all times. Always know where it is and keep it within grabbing distance so you can get it on your way out.

33. Once outside the door, just keep going. Get into the car and drive away as quickly and quietly as possible. If you don't have a car, get on a bicycle, go on foot, whatever it takes.

34. Plan to take your children. They are probably terrified by the current or coming violence. They may be less frightened at getting up and being rushed away from a threatening person than finding out in the morning that you have disappeared without saying goodbye. Even if the abuser has never battered the children, you can't be sure he wonít start now, especially when he discovers you have left the house.

35. Plan how you will make your escape with your children. It is more complicated that making it alone, but good preparation can make things easier. Talk with them periodically about the importance of safety. Teach older children to call a relative, a friend, or the police when they hear or see violence. Teach them to go next door to a neighbor's house, business, or some place close to call the police.

36. If you have a baby, tell your partner you hear him or her crying. Take the baby out of the crib and go out a back door or window before your partner realizes what is happening. Keep extra blankets close to all doors.

37. The events happen so fast that you have to leave without the children, arrange to go back for them as soon as possible. Either pick them up at school or return to the house with a police officer.

38. Ensure the children's physical safety. Let them know you have not abandoned them. You are also protecting your right to custody by getting them as soon as you can.

In addition to taking active steps toward ending an abusive relationship, a woman in this difficult situation needs to look within herself to begin rebuilding her sense of value as a human being, her self-image, and her self-worth. Ginny NiCarthy's handbook Getting Free includes a series of simple exercises for women who are on this path, as well as practical ideas and advice.


Organizational Resources for the Abused

National Organizations

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)
National Office
P.O. Box 18749
Denver, CO 80218-0749
(303) 839-1852
(303) 831-9251 Fax

NCADV Membership/public Policy
P.O. Box 34103
Washington, D.C. 20043-4103
(202) 638-6388
(202) 628-4899 Fax
The NCADV serves as an information and referral center for victims of abuse, shelters, service programs, and others assisting battered women and their children. It helps other agencies develop programs; publishes information packets, service directories, and a newsletter, The Voice; helps acquire funding for shelters and other services; promotes community awareness and education about domestic violence; sponsors conferences and regional training seminars for advocates; and supports task forces for subgroups within the battered women's movement. Those interested in becoming members should contact the Washington, D.C. office. Five categories of membership are available for individuals, organizations, and youth.

Battered Women's Justice Project
206 W. Fourth Street
Duluth, MN 55806
(800) 903-0111
This organization studies abused women in the criminal justice system, and provides information to attorneys, and advocates for battered women or others working with them.

Domestic Abuse Project (DAP)
204 West Franklin Avenue
Minneapolis, MN 55404
(612) 874-7063
DAP publishes treatment manuals, research reports, and other materials. It also conducts tailored training sessions and workshops for professionals involved in mental health, social services, and criminal justice, as well as provides education for the general public, across the country. DAP is especially active in working with children from violent homes, and publishes reports and manuals
on children's treatment.

The Family Violence Prevention Fund
383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
(415) 252-8900
This group runs public education programs, provides direct services to victims, and develops public policy and training programs for policymakers and health care providers. It also addresses the legal rights of battered immigrant and refugee women.

National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence
1155 Connecticut Avenue NW, Suite 400
Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 429-6695
(800) 222-2000
Provides information and referrals on spouse, child, and elder abuse through this toll-free help-line operated 8:00 A.M. to 5:00 A.M. Monday through Friday, Pacific Standard Time. Also gives assistance and information for community-based programs, and publishes brochures, periodicals, and a newsletter.

National Battered Woman's Hotline
c/o Texas Council on Family Violence
8701 North MoPac Expressway, Suite 450
Austin, TX 78759
(512) 794-1133
Currently working to set up a national, toll-free hotline. Those willing to help are invited to contact Anna Belle Butleson.

National Victim Center
309 West 7th Street, Suite 705
Fort Worth, TX 76102
(800) FYI-CALL
The National Victim Center provides research, education, training, advocacy, and resources for those working for the victims of all types of crime. Its INFOLINK line (above) provides information and referrals to victims of crime and people who work with them. While INFOLINK is not a crisis line and does not provide counseling, its volunteers and staff give callers information and referrals to victim assistance agencies in the callers' areas. Resource packages on domestic violence, stalking, and other topics are available free of charge by calling INFOLINK.

National Battered Women's Law Project at the
National Center on Women and Family Law
799 Broadway, Suite 402
New York, NY 10003
(212) 674-8200
This project serves as a clearinghouse for information for attorneys, advocates, and others. It publishes a wide range of information packets for those offering legal assistance to battered women. The publications address specific issues affecting domestic violence victims, such as child custody, litigation strategies, case law, the special needs of rural women, and many others. It also disseminates law, cases, model briefs, statistics, protocol, and studies.

National Clearinghouse for the
Defense of Battered Women
125 South 9th Street, Suite 302
Philadelphia, PA 19107
(215) 351-0010
This organization provides information and resource materials to attorneys, advocates, and expert witnesses who assist battered women charged with crimes, as well as the women themselves, particularly those who kill in self-defense. It publishes a newsletter, Double- Time, and coordinates a national network of people working with women in prison.

National Institute of Justice/NCJRS
Box 6000
Rockville, MD 20850
(800) 851-3420
(301) 251-5500 in Maryland and Washington, D.C.
The National Institute of Justice is the principal criminal justice research agency of the U.S. Department of Justice. It develops research and collects information about crime, its causes, and its control; trains practitioners; and distributes information. Its clearinghouse is the largest network of criminal justice information in the world, and maintains a document data base, electronic bulletin board, specialized data bases, publications, and a reference and referral service. A user's guide is available upon request.

Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
National Training Project
206 West Fourth Street
Duluth, MN 55806
(218) 722-2781
(218) 722-1545 Fax
This organization publishes and distributes a wide variety of training materials including books, curricula, research reports, training manuals, and videotapes. It also conducts training seminars for people involved in social programs to assist victims of domestic violence and those in the criminal justice system. It provides specialized training materials for those working with Native American Families. The project is especially active in helping other communities establish or improve their own programs. A free brochure describing these publications and services is available by writing or calling.

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence
6400 Flank Drive, Suite 1300
Harrisburg, PA 17112
(800) 537-2238
(717) 545-9456 Fax
This center furnishes information and resources to advocates, policymakers, and the media.

National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape
2325 Oak Street
Berkeley, CA 94708-1697
(510) 524-1582
This business provides rape prevention education through speakers, publications, and consultation by telephone or in person. It produces charts and packets that answer the most common questions and provide information on marital and date rape.

Law Students for Pro Bono
1666 Connecticut Avenue NW, Suite 424
Washington, D.C. 20009
(202) 462-0120
This group provides information on free services from law students, and assists law students interesting in starting pro bono programs at their schools.

ABA IOLTA Clearinghouse
541 N. Fairbanks Court
Chicago, IL 60611-3314
(312) 988-5748
This office of the American Bar Association coordinates the programs in most states, which collect funds from Interest on Lawyers Trust Account (IOLTA). The money from these programs is distributed to legal service providers who provide free legal services to low-income persons.

Center for Women's Policy Studies
2000 P Street NW, Suite 508
Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 872-1770
This organization focuses on combating gender-motivated hate crimes and studies the efficacy of civil rights remedies. Its National Program on Girls and Violence collects information from girls and teenagers throughout America on the violence in their lives, and studies increasing youth violence. A fact sheet on girls and violence is available now, with more data to be published as studies continue.

National Coalition for Low-Income Housing
1012 14th Street NW, Suite 1200
Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 662-1530

Resource Center on Child Custody and Protection
National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges
Family Violence Project
P.O. Box 8970
Reno, NV 89507
(800) 527-3223
(702) 784-6012
The center, operated by The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, provides general information, consultation, and training related to child protection and custody issues in the domestic violence. It cannot provide legal assistance in individual cases. Call for a publication list.

Health Resource Center on Domestic Violence
Family Violence Prevention Fund
383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
(800) 313-1310
This organization is dedicated to strengthening the health care response to domestic violence. It provides information packets, publications, and technical assistance for those wishing to set up programs and protocols.

Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence
1914 N. 34th Street, Suite 105
Seattle, WA 98103
(206) 634-1903
(206) 634-0115 Fax
This center provides educational materials for religious organizations and institutions to use in preparing curricula for clergy and Sunday school classes. It also trains clergy and lay leaders in issues of child abuse, clergy sexual misconduct, and domestic violence. It is not a direct service agency, but sometimes provides referrals.

National Organization for Women (NOW)
1000 16th Street NW, Suite 700
Washington, D.C. 20036
(202) 328-5160
NOW maintains a task force on domestic violence and is active m abroad range of issues important to women.

NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund
99 Hudson Street, 12th Floor
New York, NY 10013
(212) 925-6635
This sister organization to NOW, focuses on litigation and education in the areas of gender discrimination and related issues. It sponsors a Family Law Project and publishes various materials, including a state by state, guide to womenís legal rights.

Domestic Violence Project of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS )
1110 Vermont Avenue NW, Suite 220
Washington, D.C. 20005
(800) 842-4546
In 1994, the educational and research foundation for the AAFPRS, in cooperation with the NCADV, embarked on a campaign to provide free facial and reconstructive and plastic surgery to victims of domestic violence. For information, call the toll-free number above or contact Rita Smith at the NCADV, (202) 638-6388.

Domestic Abuse Awareness Project
P.O. Box 1155
Madison Square Station
New York, NY 10159-1155
(212) 353-1755
(212) 353-8645 fax
This clearing house for photography on domestic violence provides visual proof of domestic Violence through traveling photography exhibits to raise money for shelters and increase public awareness about domestic abuse. It was founded in 1991 by photojournalist Donna Ferrato.


State Coalitions

The 800 numbers listed in this section are hotlines.

Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 4762
Montgomery, AL 36101
(205) 832-4842

Alaska Network on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
130 Seward, Suite 501
Juneau, AK 99801
(907) 586-3650

Arizona Coalition Against Domestic Violence
100 W. Camelback Road, Suite 109
Phoenix, AZ 85103
(602) 279-2900
(800) 782-6400 (crisis line).

Arkansas Coalition Against Violence to Women and Children
7509 Cantrell Road, Suite 213
Little Rock, AR 72207.
(501) 663-4668
(800) 332-4443 (hotline)

California Alliance Against Domestic Violence and
Central California Coalition Against Domestic Violence
619 13th Street, Suite I
Modesto, CA 95354
(415) 457-2464
(209) 524-1888

Northern California Coalition for Battered Women & Children
1717 5th Avenue
San Rafael, CA 94901
(415) 457-2464

Southern California Coalition for Battered Women
P.O. Box 5036
Santa Monica, CA 90409
(213) 655-6098
(213) 658-8717 Fax

Colorado Domestic Violence Coalition
P.O. Box 18902
Denver, CO 80218
(303) 573-9018

Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence
135 Broad Street
Hartford, CY 06105
(203) 524-5890
(800) 281-1481

Delaware Battered Women's Hotline, c/o Child, Inc
507 Philadelphia Pike
Wilmington, DE 19809-2177
(302) 762-6110

D.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 76069
Washington, D.C. 20013
(202) 783-5332

Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1521 Killearn Center Boulevard
Tallahassee, FL 32308
(904) 668-6862
(800) 500-1119 (crisis line)

Georgia Advocates for Battered Women and Children
250 Georgia Avenue S, Suite 365
Atlanta, GA 30312
(404) 524,3847
(800) 643-1212 (crisis line)

Hawaii State Coalition Against Domestic Violence                       (808)832-9316

Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
200 North Fourth Street, Suite 10
Boise, ID 83702
(208) 384-0419

Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence
937 South Fourth Street
Springfield, IL 62703
(217) 789-2830

Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
2511 E. 46th Street, Suite N3
Indianapolis, IN 46202
(317) 641-1912
(800) 332-7385 (crisis line)

Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Lucas Building, First Floor
Des Moines, IA 50319
(515) 281-7284
(800) 942-0333 (crisis line)

Kansas Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence
820 S.E. Quincy, Suite 416-B
Topeka, KS 66612
(913) 232-9784

Kentucky Domestic Violence Association
P.O. Box 356
Frankfort, KY 40602
L (502) 875-4132

Louisiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 3053
Hammond, LA 70404-3053
(504) 542-4446

Maine Coalition for Family Crisis Services
359 Main Street
Bangor, ME 04402
(207) 941-1194

Maryland Network Against Domestic Violence
11501 Georgia Avenue, Suite 403
Silver Spring, MD 20902-1955
(301) 942-0900

Massachusetts Coalition of Battered Women's Service Groups
210 Commercial Street, 3rd Floor
Boston, MA 02109
(617) 248-0922

Michigan Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 16009
Lansing, MI 48901
(517) 484-2924

Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women
1619 Dayton Avenue, Suite 303
St. Paul, MN 55104
(612) 646-6177
(612) 646-0994 (crisis line)

Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence
5455 Executive Place
Jackson, MS 39206
(601) 981-9196

Missouri Coalition Against Domestic Violence
331 Madison Street
Jefferson City, MO 65101
(314) 634-4161

Montana Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1236 N. 28th Street, Suite 103
Billings, MT 59101
(406) 245-7990

Nebraska Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Coalition
315 South 9th, Suite 18
Lincoln, NE 68508
(402) 476-6256

Nevada Network Against Domestic Violence
2100 Capurro Way, Suite E
Sparks, NV 89431
(702) 358-1171
(800) 500-1556 (crisis line)

New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence I
P.O. Box 353
Concord, NH 03302-0353
(603) 224-8893
(800) 852-3388 (multi-issue state hotline)

New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women
2620 Whitehorse/Hamilton Square Road
Trenton, NJ 08690,2718
(609) 584-8107
(800) 572-7233 (state hotline)
(800) 224-0211 (battered lesbian crisis line)

New Mexico State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 25363
Albuquerque, NM 87125
(505) 246-9240
(800) 773-3645 (crisis line)

New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Women's Building, 79 Central Avenue
Albany, NY 12206
(518) 432-4864
(800) 942-6906 (English hotline)
(800) 942-6908 (Spanish hotline)

North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 27701
Durham, NC 27717
(919) 956-9124

North Dakota Council on Abused Women's Services
418 E. Rosser Avenue, Suite 320
Bismarck, ND 58501
(701) 255-6240
(800) 472-2911 (state hotline)

Ohio Domestic Violence Network
4041 North High Street, Suite 101
Columbus, OH 43214
(614) 784-0023
(800) 934-9840

Oklahoma Coalition on Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
2200 Classen Boulevard, Suite 610
Oklahoma City, OK 73106
(405) 557-1210
(800) 522-9054 (state hotline)

Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
520 N.W. Davis Street, Suite 310
Portland, OR 97209
(503) 239-4486
(800) 622-3782 (crisis line)

Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence
6400 Flank Drive, Suite 1300
Hamsburg, PA 17112
(717) 545-6400
(800) 932-4632 (state hotline)

Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence
324 Broad Street
Central Falls, RI 02863
(401) 723-3051
(800) 494-8100 (crisis line)

South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 7776
Columbia, SC 29202- 7776
(803) 254-3699

South Dakota Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
3220 South Highway 281
Aberdeen, SD 57401
(605) 255-5122

Tennessee Task Force Against Domest1c Violence
P.O. Box 120972
Nashville, TN 37212-0972
(615) 386-9406

Texas Council on Family Violence
8701 North Mopac Expressway, Suite 450
Austin, TX 78759
(512) 794-1133
(800) 252-5400 (hotline)

Utah Domestic Violence Advisory Council
120N. 200 West
Salt Lake City, UT 84103
(801) 538-4078

Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
P.O. Box 405
Montpelier, VT 05601
(802) 223-1302

Virginians Against Domestic Violence
2850 Sandy Bay Road, Suite 101
Williamsburg, VA 23185
(804) 221-0990
(800) 838-8238 (crisis line)

Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence
200 W Street SE, Suite B
Tumwater, WA 98501
(206) 352-4029
(800) 562-6025 (state hotline)

West Virginia Coalition Against Domestic Violence
P.O. Box 85
181B Main Street
Sutton, WV 26601-0085
(304) 765-2250
(800) 352-6513 (crisis line)

Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence
1400 E. Washington, Suite 103
Madison, WI 53703
(608) 255-0539

Wyoming Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
341 East E Street, Suite 135A
Casper, WY 82601
(307) 266-4334
(800) 990-3877

Puerto Rico:
Comision para 105 Asuntos de la Mujer
Calle San Fransisco 151-153
Viejo San Juan,
San Juan Puerto Rico 00901
(809) 722-2907
(809) 722-2977

U.S. Virgin Islands:
Women's Resource Center
8 Kongens Gade
St. Thomas, U.S. V.I. 00802
(809) 776-3699

Women's Coalition of St.
P.O. Box 2734
St. Croix, U.S.V.I. 00822 :
(809) 773-9272


Local Programs

Local domestic violence shelters, programs, hotlines, and other services can be found in your local telephone directory. Look in the blue or white pages under "Domestic Abuse Information and Treatment Centers," "Social Service Organizations," "Human Service Organizations," "Shelters," "Women's Organizations," or "Family Services." They can help and advise you on locating emergency and permanent housing, and provide information on your legal rights, welfare or public aid application, counseling, support groups, and services for children. Some have brochures that address issues of concern and list other local resources and services. Most of these programs offer their help free of charge or on a sliding fee scale, according to income. Your state coalition (see above) can also refer you to sources of information and help in your community.


Other Sources of Information, Referrals, and Help

Black Battered Women's Project
Minnesota Institute on Black Chemical Abuse
2616 Nicollet Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55408

Boulder County Safehouse
P.O. Box 4157
Boulder, CO 80306
(303) 449-8623
The Safe-house publishes a series of books on children and domestic violence, including books especially for parents, teachers, and health care providers. The books are inexpensive and are available in English and Spanish.

The Company of Women
102 Main Street, P.O. Box 742
Nyack, NY 10960-0742
(914) 353-0940
(800) 937-1193
This mail-order catalog business specializes in products of interest to women, many produced by women-owned businesses. Information on domestic violence and sources of help are included in the catalog as well. The Company of Women is a subsidiary of the Rockland Family Shelter in Spring Valley, New York, which serves victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault as well as homeless women and children. Profits from the catalog go to support its programs and services. It also provides a community action kit for those wishing to end domestic violence in their own community, which may be obtained by calling (800) 777-1960.

Women of Nations
P.O. Box 4637
St. Paul, MN 55104
(612) 222-5830
Provides information on American Indian women against domestic violence.

American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
409 12th Street
Washington, D.C. 20024
(202) 638-5577
Publishes The Abused Woman for patients.


Special Resources for Immigrant and Refugee Women

Immigrant Assistance Line
(415) 554-2444 (English and Spanish)
(415) 554- 2454 (Cantonese, Mandarin, and Vietnamese)

Military Family Clearinghouse
4015 Wilson Boulevard, Suite 903
Arlington, VA 22203-5190
(703) 696-5860
(800) 336-4592
Provides information on military support centers.

National Lawyer's Guild
National Immigration Project
14 Beacon Street, Suite 560
Boston, MA 02108
(617) 227-9727
This group of lawyers, law students, and legal workers educates and organizes for progressive immigration law; defends civil liberties of foreign-born people, and distributes publications.

Family Violence Prevention Fund
383 Rhode Island Street, Suite 304
San Francisco, CA 94103-5133
(800) 313-1310
Produces a brochure on the rights of immigrant and refugee women in violent homes, which is available in Spanish, Chinese, Tagalog, and Korean. Also produces a manual with more in-depth coverage entitled Domestic Violence in Immigrant and Refugee Communities: Asserting the Rights of Battered Women

American Immigration Lawyers Association
1400 Eye Street NW, Suite 1200
Washington, D.C. 20005
(202) 371-9377
This association is composed of lawyers specializing in immigration and nationality law. It can provide referrals to such lawyers in local areas.


Help for Battered Gays and Lesbians

Lesbian Battering Intervention Project
Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women
1619 Dayton Avenue, Suite 303
St. Paul, MN 55104
(612) 646-6177

National Gay and Lesbian Domestic Violence Victim's Network
3506 S. Ouray Circle
Aurora, CO 80013
(303) 266-3477
Provides support for victims and publishes a handbook on same sex-domestic violence issues.


Family Violence Councils

The councils listed below are coordinating groups that were recognized as notable by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges in their 1992 publication, Family Violence: State-of-the-Art Court Programs. Such councils have been described as "a remarkable agent for change within a community." Each council may be contacted for information on how it was created, how it has been maintained, and the goals it has accomplished.

Multnomah County Family Violence Council
c/o Multnomah County Legal Aid Service
1020 Board of Trade Building
310 SW Fourth Avenue
Portland, OR 97204
503) 226-7991

Santa Clara County Domestic Violence Council
c/o Board of Supervisors
Attn: Clerk of the Board
70 West Hedding
San Jose, CA 95110
(408) 299-4321

San Diego County Family Violence Council
Domestic Violence Unit
Office of City Attorney
1010 Second Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, CA 92101,4903
(619) 533-3000

Human Services Roundtable
King County
1220 Smith Tower
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 623-7134

Baltimore City Violence Coordinating Council
500 E. Baltimore Street
3rd Floor Domestic Violence
Baltimore, MD 21202
(410) 396-3133

Project Safeguard
1207 Pennsylvania Street
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 863-7233

Hawaii Family Court
First Circuit
777 Punch Bowl Street
Honolulu, HI 96813
(808) 548-6369

Alternatives to Violence: East Hawaii
P.O. Box 10448
Hilo, HI 96721,7798
808) 969-7798

Protection Order Advocacy Program
Victim Assistance Unit
King County Prosecuting Attorney
E223 King County Courthouse
Seattle, WA 98104
(206) 296-9547

San Francisco District Attorney's Domestic Violence Programs
850 Bryant Street, 3rd Floor
San Francisco, CA 94103
415) 552-7550
415) 553-9743

Family Violence Prevention Fund
Building One, Suite 200
1001 Potrero Avenue
San Francisco, CA 94110
(415) 821-4553

Prosecutor's Victim Assistance Program
Municipal Courts Building
1101 Locust Street
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 274-1517
Project Assist

Legal Aid of Western Missouri
1005 Grand Avenue, Suite 600
Kansas City, MO 64106
(816) 474-6750

Quincy District Court Domestic Violence Prevention Program
Quincy Division District Court Department
One Dennis R Ryan Parkway
Quincy, MA 02169
(617) 471-1650

Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP)
206 West Fourth Street, Room 201
Duluth, MN 55806
(218) 722-2781


Men's Programs

These programs have been recognized as successful in working with batterers on changing their abusive behavior. Many provide information, publications, and assistance to other organizations or communities seeking to establish batterer's programs.

Oakland Men's Project
440 Grand Avenue, Suite 320
Oakland, CA 94610
(510) 835-2433

Abusive Men Exploring New Directions (AMEND)
777 Grant Street, Suite 600
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 832-6363
Provides training programs, conventions, and publications for others.

Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP)
206 West Fourth Street
Duluth, MN 55806
(218) 722-4134

EMERGE: Counseling and Education to Stop Male Violence
18 Hurley Street, Suite 100
Cambridge, MA 02141
(617) 547-9870
Serves as a model for similar groups, provides technical assistance and training for human services and law enforcement professionals, and distributes publications and information.

Men Overcoming Violence (MOVE)
54 Mint Street, Suite 300
San Francisco, CA 94103
(415) 777-4496

Batterers Anonymous (BA)
8485 Tamarind, Suite D
Fontana, CA 92335
(714) 355-1100
BA's publications include an annual national directory, a handbook, and a self-help manual for batterers.

National Organization for Changing Men
7314 Manchester, 2nd Floor
St. Louis, MO 63143
(314) 645-2075


Berry, Dawn Bradley, 1995. Domestic Violence Sourcebook, p.196-202. Lowell House, Los Angeles, CA.

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